There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
