just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
