Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
