Cold hands, warm shart.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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