The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
