we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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