I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
