ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
