quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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