She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
