that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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