That's when you crack a 10am beer
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
