There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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