i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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