Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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