his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
