Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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