just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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