my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She is in my trunk
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
