I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
