I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
