Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
