Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
