You're completely useless in the revolution.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
