Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just puked most of my soul out..
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