Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
