I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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