How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
