just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
