The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
