TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
