I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
