I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
