i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
