I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do herpes really smell.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
