Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
