I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
