Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
