all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
