I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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