She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
