I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
