so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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