it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
