his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
