the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
