Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I skipped work to stalk him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
