you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
