I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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