Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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