a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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