Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
