Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
