Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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