so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
